Oh the Holidays

It can be daunting to face the holidays without someone important. Since the holidays are about gathering with family and friends, if someone is missing, their absence is sorely felt.

If you’ve lost someone and are having trouble making a decision about how to handle the holidays, this is common and it’s OK. Let yourself wait until the last minute if needed.

It can be helpful to have a Plan A and a Plan B. Sometimes just knowing you have options gives you a little feeling of relief and ease.

Some people find comfort in the routines and traditions of the holidays and want to continue on as normal. If that feels like you, do it. Or, pick only the parts that bring you joy. During a loss, sometimes I have felt more joy from holidays related traditions and preparations before the holiday rather than the holiday itself.

Other people feel they don’t want to face everything without their person and they want to sit the holidays out. You can skip the holidays! They will be back next year.

What you can’t skip unfortunately is the pain the holidays can bring. As one of my teachers said, if you have 50 tears to cry, don’t stop at 25. Releasing your pain is always good for you.

You can get through this. I’ve done it many years.

Once you do get through the holidays (or even before) I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you set up one or more enjoyable and/or healing experiences for yourself for right after. Something you can look forward to. I’ve often gotten a massage on the 26th for example, to reset my mind, body, spirit.

Whatever you choose to do, you can relax, celebrate that you got through, and release it all.